ahley

pettyinsight @ 2007-05-03T15:59:00

2007-05-03T19:59:16Z

new lj.

lemme know if you want the link.

pettyinsight @ 2006-12-02T19:55:00

2006-12-02T19:55:44Z

overdramatized farewell to lj.

+

=

fin

don't expect to see me.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-25T04:20:00

2006-11-25T04:20:08Z

oh gawd.

i never should have quit magnet.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-22T02:08:00

2006-11-22T02:08:35Z

i am stoked.

today i found out that i'm in the top fifteen percent of my class.

!!

there's more, but i'm far too lethargic to bother typing.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-20T22:44:00

2006-11-20T22:44:02Z

hah, now she knows how it feels to be lied to, to be hurt.
IT SUCKS DOESN'T IT?!

this afternoon i visited ocean lakes, and dear god i miss it terribly. i loveeeee my old teacher.
"allie, you just look, soooo gay!!!!"
then i saw kroeller, and an old history teacher that thought i was in college, and my latin teacher, and called it a day. errr, afternoon.
but, i'm stuck at kellam. -rolls eyes- lammmmme. but i'm going to be allowed to be editor again of the lit. mag at ol, so i'll get to be there a lot starting in december.
anyways, i photo-ed with alyssa, but my camera was dead, so alas i have none to share except for this:

i got a 100 on a precalc test!

:D

i was invited to a post-Thanksgiving vegan dinner thing; i'm not sure if i'll go, but it sounds pretty sweet.

spanish club tomorrow.

i might volunteer at a homeless shelter or the food bank or something on thanksgiving. i'm still not sure, however, because i haven't gathered much information on it. if i don't this year, than i definately will next year.

[edit ::
i figured out why i feel like shit all the time.
1.) the neuro-muscular disease i have is a lot more complex than all of my doctor's had originally anticipated. it doesn't just affect the muscles in my legs anymore.
so this summer, i get to be flown to the one of top neuro-surgeon in the country (one resides in californina, the other in d.c.) to get a muscle biopsy and a lot of tests done.
2.) i'm allergic to gluten, dairy products and a weird type of processed sugar. that means, strict regulation of my diet.

it's like, whatever god there is out there keeps chucking more and more things at me to kill me.
so why am i still here?]

sat in two weeks.
scholarship essays to write.
holidays.
work. school. sleep.
pony, art class, volunteering.
deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.
my life is all about fucking deadlines.

haha, oh well.

i am happy.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-20T02:35:00

2006-11-20T02:35:46Z

everything should've been entirely different. things weren't supposed to happen this way.

however, i am quite pleased with how my life has turned out.
and i still have a shot at the school i've wanted to attend since i was little.

and for the first time in my life, i'm exactly where i want to be.
i'm visiting ol tomorrow and am going on a photography excursion with alyssa as well.
it'll be my first real shoot with the d80.

my summer :
http://www.wm.edu/niahd/precollegiate.php

i am stoked.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-15T02:44:00

2006-11-15T02:44:50Z

so i totally had this insane flashback to last year.

remember our trip to the beach alyssa? that night the four of us just hung out on the boardwalk.
that was such a perfect night.
i would kill for another one of those nights.
four lesbians on a beach. ahaha, <3.

it better happen again.

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-15T02:37:00

2006-11-15T02:37:58Z

everything is just falling apart.

it wasn't supposed to end this way.

but it did, and thus is life.
so where do i go from here?

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-07T01:37:00

2006-11-07T01:37:26Z

and so passes yet another monday. i masterfully avoided an encounter with my father and the idiot, pulled a master prank, recieved my first love letter, managed to pull off a high "c" in physics, broke into my own house and made a friend. success.

tomorrow begins my job. i'm quite nervous actually. never before have i been nervous at the thought of a job. perhaps it is due to the dire need employment. for the first time, i actually need this additional income; i'm not taking a job merely as a result of choice.-shrugs-
library volunteering during second block is going well. i really enjoy it.

i plan on attending the gsa meeting on wednesday, provided i don't have to work.

-laughs- suffocating myself in my schoolwork to avoid my emotions is paying off. i didn't do shit this semester and i'm going to pull off honor roll.

running away isn't the best answer, as ryan continually points out. i can't hide forever. eventually i'll have to deal with everything.

but what's wrong with leading a life of solitude?
what's wrong with running away?

my mother confused me with rory again. if she does it a third time, i'm breaking the fucking tv.

why must everything change? why must people be so fucking cruel? why must everyone lie?
why can't i be a child forever?

i might join debate second semester. damn, i am a nerd. newspaper, library volunteering, debate, enjoying precaculus, sitting alone and reading. ahahahahaha. maybe i should retire my contacts and dress in khakis daily.

NOT! ahahaha.

no, i'm just morphing into the kid every college wants.-laughs- how quickly life can change.

upcoming college visits:
http://www.wm.edu/prospective/index.php
http://www.ciachef.edu/admissions/default.asp
http://www.virginia.edu/OfStud.html
http://www.yale.edu/admissions/index.html <333

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-06T03:31:00

2006-11-06T03:31:52Z

ahaha, alyssa, remember this?

pettyinsight @ 2006-11-06T02:55:00

2006-11-06T02:55:30Z

a brief explanation of this account:
this livejournal identity will be, for the most part, entirely personal. the majority of the entries are accessible to only myself. this privacy is crucial; it will allow me to "sort-out", so to say, some of the shit i'm experiencing. i feel that, in doing so, i will achieve a sense of control, be it real or imaginary. i need to start a new life, free from nostalgia. how can i expect to successfully embark onto the future if i'm still clinging to the past? i can no longer do this to myself. choices were made, lives were changed. i cannot linger in the present half-expecting both people and events to return. if they have left, then so be it. i can no longer blame myself for the past. i hope that the creation and completion of this lj will allow me to do so, to move on.

emotionally, i needed the closure from who i was as a child to who i am as a developing adult. those associated that have chosen to continue on with me will be allowed insight into this personal growth. those who are no longer involved, be it of their own free will or as a result of my decision to leave them behind, will be denied.

to all, i wish you happiness. in the cruel world in which we live, it is the only aspect of life that will make it all the more bearable.

SO! my first public entry!! hurrah.

i recently returned from east carolina university and needless to say, i am going to apply for admittance. the school has quite the southern charm; i half expected to hear scarlett's voice ringing out across the campus. it's small, and quaint, and i can definately see myself attending the school. my only regret is not having my camera charged the entire time; i could've gotten some great shots.

i start my job on tuesday. it's relieving to know that i finally have a source of income and that i'm another step out of virginia beach.

nothing much else to share publicly.

-- If you walk away I walk away
first tell me which road you will take
I don't want to risk our paths crossing somday
so you walk that way I'll walk this way